18 Months of Living Clean

And so today I have eighteen months clean and sober. I have had "one year" several times on this journey but eventually I would fall through the cracks due to a move or even a break-up or being broke or any other resentment that might flare up. So this is an important milestone for me--the most "clean time" I've had since starting this journey in October 2003.

I started "binging" on alcohol after my divorce and excommunication Aug 2000. I was 30 years old. Within a year I was introduced to crystal meth in a penthouse in New York. I didn't know what was about to hit me. It blew my gaskets and my pleasure centers were thrashed! The crash was beyond demoralizing. I was addicted the first time I used.

There is no way to tell all my story right now and at this time. It was hard to admit I had a problem because I seemed so "normal" and no one around me thought I had a problem. But deep inside I knew I did. It was like a tsunami ready to crash upon me all the time--and it did.

I am grateful that recovery found me within two years of binging and that the programs I started held my hand until I could have enough bottoms to surrender.

I am so grateful for this journey. Recovery is something I learned I could not do perfectly. This is a hard thing to accept for a "Mormon boy." Humility is something that I lacked.

So here is to another 18 months one day at a time. Easy Does It. First Things First. May I continue to show up for life, learn how to serve others and to still be able to say at the end of each day (like I do at the end of Confessions of a Mormon Boy), "Heavenly Father, thank you for my life."

I would be happy to hear from anyone privately who thinks they might have a problem. Maybe together we can talk about a solution that could work for you. It seems to be working for me at this moment. And I see it work for others with much more time and experience. God bless.

fales.steven@gmail.com