Steven Fales

Steven Fales
Steven Fales -- Actor/Writer/Producer

Thursday, May 30, 2013

One Pride for All

So it's Gay Pride season and I've been thinking once again that there really should be just one day a year officially called "Gay Pride." This is blasphemy to some, but I have a lot of good reasons for this. I'll be writing an essay on it. We'll see what happens. The last Sunday is June is Gay Pride. Accept no substitutes. Too many Prides dilute the message. More to come.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

My Mormon Boy Update Email Blast

Dear Friends,

Greetings from fabulous Utah! (Ahem.) There is so much happening! Thanks for letting me share these links to my work. I hope you’ll find them exciting, inspiring, and FUN!


Confessions of a Mormon Boy (Live from London) is getting 5-star reviews! Now on iTunes and Amazon! 5-star review:

Get the album for free when you contribute $10.00 to my Mormon Boy Trilogy IndieGoGo Campaign now thru June 15th (link includes new “Mormon Boy Theme Song” Slide Show!)

Mormon American Princess Live album is currently being mixed and engineered. It’s touching and hilarious! Here’s a sneak peek at one number I wrote called (ahem) “Narcissus”:

“Broadway Mormon Medley”:

“Prodigal Dad Medley”:


After recent runs in Houston and Halifax, Confessions of a Mormon Boy at Buffalo United Artists on September 30th and at the University of Maine Oct. 17th! Here’s a sexy and harrowing scene from Confessions:

The Mormon Boy Trilogy will open off Broadway after an out-of-town tryout at Richmond Triangle Players in Virginia Jan/Feb 2014. See Confessions of a Mormon Boy, Missionary Position, and Prodigal Dad in repertory!  Another international tour is in the works.


Mormon American Cowboy on Oct 25 and A Mormon Boy Christmas on Dec 23 at the Metropolitan Room in New York. Here’s a new song from the show!

My new stand up show in development is called When All Else Fales! Moving beyond Mormon!


Latter Gay Saints, a new anthology I’m honored to be part of comes out July 15th. It features excerpts from my new show Missionary Position and it’s getting incredible press already! See this Huffington Post Article:

My new book Mormon Boy: A Memoir of Royalty and White Trash in America is currently being shopped by my agent in New York. I’ve been working on it for years! Fingers crossed.

My first Lambda Literary Finalist Book Confessions of a Mormon Boy: Behind the Scenes of the Off-Broadway Hit is still available on Amazon! High school students are winning state drama awards with these monologues all over the country! Check out this student


“The Extraordinary Artist.” This one-day workshop will inspire anyone to produce what they create.  June 22nd in Salt Lake City! “Steven has a gift for igniting the creativity of others.”—Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way. I’m featured in her new book The Creative Life: True Stories of Inspiration


The DVD of Confessions off Broadway is in the works. Excommunication scene:

Mormon Boy is an epic documentary film about a storyteller compelled to keep sharing his stories all over the world.  You should see the footage we shot in Edinburgh and London!

And would you watch a web series called The Mormon Boy Cooking Show? Fashion, fitness, faith, and FOOD! It’s something up my sleeve like Mormon Boy jeans? “When you wear Mormon boy, you’re wearing the truth!”

Just for fun, the national “Ski Utah” commercial some of you might have recently seen!


It’s been a very challenging few years post-Recession. I’m moving back to NYC in July after two wonderful (and humbling) years being available to my kids in Utah. They are now basically all grown up and daddy is returning to the Big Apple a lot more sober and a whole lot wiser.

The one thing that has remained constant has been creating new work—and there are a lot more projects ahead that I will share later. (I’ve already gilded the lily!) Thank you for all your support as together we take things to the next level!  I can’t do this alone. I’d love to hear from you!

Keep smiling!

Steven Fales

Twitter @mormonboy

"Steven Fales is easily among the best, if not the best, solo performers in the business."

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

"The Smile" on Andrew Sullivan's THE DISH

I want to archive my mini essay "The Smile". It was featured on a blog post by Andrew Sullivan. Check me out on The Dish as he dishes on Mitt Romney's laugh.

Note from the Playwright

“The Smile”

            The Mormon Smile is made by first thinking how deeply grateful and blessed you are to belong to “the only true and living church upon the face of the whole earth.” As one of the chosen, this thought brings you incomparable glee that just can’t be contained. Your smile’s size is proportionate to just how many Mormon pioneer ancestors you had sweat and freeze across the Plains. If you are truly Mormon royalty, your smile will be enormous! Imagine your favorite hymn or Disney’s “It’s a Small World” playing over and over in your head as you compulsively smile your charming, wholesome, flashy, adorably irresistible perky Osmond smile.

            The smile comes through the eyes, not just the teeth—they twinkle and sparkle, eyebrows raised high. As you smile, your head is cocked a little to the right to show the world just how cute and sincere you are. There’s maybe a little shrug and a giggle of delight—perhaps an unconscious condescending wink. There’s a spring in your step. You want to have the best smile possible, so brush and floss your teeth after every meal. Teeth-whitening is rarely necessary because, as a good member of the Church, you don’t drink wine or coffee or use tobacco in the first place. The most precious and righteous Mormons do not need braces. Many find that their smiles help them read in the dark. They also find it hard to kiss, as puckering is difficult with overdeveloped smiling muscles.

            Your smile can be used for many things, but its official purpose is to attract others to the Church (and other multilevel marketing schemes—think Amway). You smile all the time because you never know how or when your smile might convert another to the source of true happiness—“mainstream” Mormonism. (Just one smile can metastasize the world!) If you’re ever caught not smiling, you will be held responsible for all the souls who would have been saved had you been smiling as you should have been. Some of your salvation may be deducted in the next life if you’re not careful. You must avoid this and any guilt with every fiber of your being. As it says in the bible, “Let your light so shine.” So smile brightly! Sing an hymn: “Scatter sunshine all along your way . . .” or “Jesus wants me for a sunbeam to shine for him each day . . .”

            Remember, in the end it’s all about who wins. . . er . . .can be the nicest. And nice winners smile. Even when crying, continue smiling at all times—even when you are alone. (Someone may be watching!) And if you ever feel like swearing, smile instead. (Kill ’em with kindness!)

            But don’t think because Mormons smile ad nauseum they don’t know what pain and suffering is. They do. It’s just that they have a hope and uncompromising optimism that comes from their faith—and their proud pioneer legacy. They can endure all things, including any tragedy, because one day they will live eternally with their “elect” loved ones again in paradise. They live into a glorious future (they believe that they will one-day become gods themselves) that transforms their present, making them extraordinary neighbors. (And they live an average of ten years longer than you will—having the last laugh. They will be re-writing herstory.) Their burdens are lighter than others because they alone lay claim to the gift of the Holy Ghost—sent to comfort them in their times of need. But only if they are worthy of such blessings. And, as luck would have it, they usually are. Well, most of them are--the straight ones.

5-Star London Album Review from

It was quite a Memorial Day yesterday. One year since I broke up with someone I was hoping would be Mr. Right. It's been a year now and I'm willing and able to move on. When I love, I love powerfully--it takes time to heal.

The evening ended with a Google Alert. I received a five-star review for my album "Confessions of a Mormon Boy (Live from London)" from Scott Harrah of

"This must-have recording is that rare soundtrack of a solo show that you will want to listen to over and over again. Anyone will find much to savor in this spoken-word gem!"

Here's the link that will take you to the full reviews and the links to the album on iTunes and Amazon!

Top 25 Gay Mormon Plays

I seem to have made the list of 25 plays in the last 20 years that deal with the gay Mormon experience. I have written four of the 25 and I have more to come: Sacred Strain and Cleft both go further than ever before.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Sex Sells! Day 30 Photo

Sex sells. And boy do I know. This photo got me into so much trouble. But I'm using it now to raise money in a more legitimate way. Help me tell my story about getting OUT of the sex industry just in the nick of time by donating to my "The Mormon Boy Trilogy Off Broadway 2014" IndieGoGo Campaign.

Donate $10 and get my new album "Confessions of a Mormon Boy (Live from London)!" Please donate right away. Only $6,900 and 30 days left to go! I need your help and can't fund my work alone.

Over eleven years clean from my sex work "experiment"!
Sugar Daddy Free!

18 Months of Living Clean

And so today I have eighteen months clean and sober. I have had "one year" several times on this journey but eventually I would fall through the cracks due to a move or even a break-up or being broke or any other resentment that might flare up. So this is an important milestone for me--the most "clean time" I've had since starting this journey in October 2003.

I started "binging" on alcohol after my divorce and excommunication Aug 2000. I was 30 years old. Within a year I was introduced to crystal meth in a penthouse in New York. I didn't know what was about to hit me. It blew my gaskets and my pleasure centers were thrashed! The crash was beyond demoralizing. I was addicted the first time I used.

There is no way to tell all my story right now and at this time. It was hard to admit I had a problem because I seemed so "normal" and no one around me thought I had a problem. But deep inside I knew I did. It was like a tsunami ready to crash upon me all the time--and it did.

I am grateful that recovery found me within two years of binging and that the programs I started held my hand until I could have enough bottoms to surrender.

I am so grateful for this journey. Recovery is something I learned I could not do perfectly. This is a hard thing to accept for a "Mormon boy." Humility is something that I lacked.

So here is to another 18 months one day at a time. Easy Does It. First Things First. May I continue to show up for life, learn how to serve others and to still be able to say at the end of each day (like I do at the end of Confessions of a Mormon Boy), "Heavenly Father, thank you for my life."

I would be happy to hear from anyone privately who thinks they might have a problem. Maybe together we can talk about a solution that could work for you. It seems to be working for me at this moment. And I see it work for others with much more time and experience. God bless.

Latter Gay Saints

There is an exciting anthology coming out July 15th by Lethe Press called Latter Gay Saints in which excerpts from my solo play Missionary Position are included. I'm one of 22 writers selected. The cover's artwork is by Trevor Southey. Look for it! I think it will be a real showcase for the gay Mormon experience.

There is a feature story about the book and gay Mormon characters in literature. It has appeared in the Washington Post and now on Huffington Post. I'm honored to be in this company!

Missionary Position is Part Two in The Mormon Boy Trilogy which also includes Confessions of a Mormon Boy and Prodigal Dad.



I wrote this song to help me heal after a breakup. It's been almost a year and time to let go. Serenity to all.


Music and lyrics by Steven Fales
(based on the painting “Serenity” by Daniel Pollera)

Making love to you.
This song may be too intimate,
But sweetheart I’m so into it.
I have found
In you.

There’s a place
Where all the light is right
And all the walls are bright
The sea is calm and blue
And afternoons with you
We’re walking in the sand
Or play your baby grand.
But that place
Is water colored walls
Just two dimensional
I’m trapped inside a dream
The picture’s cruel and mean
There’s no light from above
And we’re not making love.

It’s not
Making love to you.
This song may be too intimate
But I was just so into it.
How will I ever heal
And find a love that’s for real?
Bring back

There’s a door.
It leads out to a porch
An idyllic scene of sorts
There’s a pair of empty shoes
Symmetrical and new
But the shoelaces don’t fit
And so the shoes just sit.
And that scene
Is now a scene for one
Bare footprints could be fun
But you’ve locked yourself inside
And I won’t let you hide.
I’d save you if I could
But I don’t know if I should.
There’s no knob on the door
You don’t answer anymore.
I’ll save you. Yes, I can.
No! You’re the superman!

I want
Waking up with you.
I was so darn into it.
You’re my biggest sober hit.
Now I’m alone it’s true
Wishin’ I was there with you.
We were so deep in love.
Help me find strength above
I may be crazy
But join me.
We’ll make

There’s a room
With lots of space to run
And windows full of sun.
So spotless they don’t gleam
‘Cause everything’s so clean.
There’s not a speck of dust
And pipes don’t ever rust.
But that room
Has no pulse or breath
A slow and perfect death
No place for dogs or kids
Or leftover dinner lids
Disapproval and disgust
With no laughs or lust
And fear has killed all trust.
That’s not a place for us!

I’ll make it up to you.
If you don’t want to play
This song will surely find a way
To give to you from me
My love eternally
And bless you anyway
I don’t know how to say
More than—

SERENITY is past                                                              
So what am I to do?
The waves come crashing on the rocks
And no lighthouse can rescue us.
Don’t let me drown.
I’m going down.
I want--

Take a look.
Not just a passing glance
Or you won’t get a chance
To see what’s really there.
Look, really get a stare.
Above the window pane--
Look, there’s a water stain.
It is faint.
You couldn’t see before
It’s not perfect anymore.
It never was that way
And look, we’re still okay.
I’ll try harder not to fix
Anymore of your tics
With all my selfish tricks.

Make it up to you.
This song may be too intimate
But I am still so into it.
Wondering what is true.
I can’t stop wanting what we had
Because the good outweighs the bad.
I would trade it all for you.
Come back to me.
You’re my

Making love to you.
This song may be too intimate
But I was just so into it.
Come back to me.
Let me learn
And let me earn

We could be havin’ fun.
Sober oblivion.
The picture’s still undone.
It’s called SERENITY.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

The Prophecy

by Steven Fales

New York is my mistress I surely shall want
She maketh me to lie down in dark pastures
She leadeth me beside the crystal meth waters
She cheateth my soul
In the valley of the shadow of the urban jungle
I can never find the right place to pee
So once again I am wet with shame
She has too many tempting alleyways
I cannot decide how far down to go
Or which subway will take me all the way
One is too many and a thousand never enough
Unless this time she will kindly not hold the door
Death, thy name is More!
Bigger, bigger, pull the trigger . . .

How can I tame you, lover?
I sketch and shuffle across bridge and tunnel
With my tweak and my stink
In my autumn hoodie I scare and
Scatter elders, tweens and twinks
As you speed me to squalor
From Chelsea dungeons to Brighton Beach dawn
I clench my teeth too tired to yawn
So cold you can smell that the falling rain
Will soon turn to snow to salt my brain
And in my flip-flops I straddle and trudge
As you strut on by and I cop my grudge
You cost all I have and barely give back
Your displeasured countenance
And hostile indifference terrify me
I feel alone as you swallow me whole
Too good to call whore at your prostitute’s craft
In your sexy black dress
So bad you can’t even wear red
Trade your heels in for boots with that killer skill
I harness my gods to thy ravenous will
What else is in that duffle?
Trouble, trouble, quite a double
Thy rod and thy staff they escort me
Thou preparest a table before me
In the presence of Hell’s dark Kitchen
My Canal Street Rolex has stopped
My lighter, too, you want it?
I’m sorry, but this time
I just can’t seem to
Give it up or
Get it up or
Look me in the eye through your
Glory holes and buddy booths
You don't see me from behind
As I assume the position
You're the dawg tag choker
I’m milked bone dry
And that strap on you’re wearing
Could use some more lube
The least you could do
After all we’ve meant to each other is spit
Is that you or me on the faceless, plasma screen
I don’t ever want to know who’s riding whom
It’s all uploaded and downloaded and over with now
Your virus is high and my t-cells are low
I’ve tasted my blood and know that it’s so
Damn, you for burning my thigh with your pipe
And me for ever letting myself smell this ripe . . . 

You taketh my youth, beauty, talent, funds--
I have only dreams to give
And dreams won’t pay for the view
Not in the swanky penthouses wherein you reign
I can’t even furnish the foyer
The change bowl is filthy copper now
Or is it zinc and soot?
Zounds! The spending loot’s long gone
With only receipts to remind me
That now I am hopelessly drifting in debt
Compounded interest cuffing my heart
Waterboarding what once was hope and art
You are a frenzied banquet on which others feed
Napkin? Crab cake? Tartare? Bizarre!
Your tall flute runneth o’er as I lick the flowing lucre
And hunger and thirst in your miserable, gluttonous presence
Bubble, bubble, have a double
Straddle, straddle, wield your paddle
Weak and undone even Broadway’s no fun
Each gay exhibit doth now prohibit
I can’t even score a free pass to Dendur
And I am not brave enough to go
Where mafia has fed my tribe before
Just ask your red-headed step sister, Vegas
Or my mama’s Mormon daddy
No longer a hooker myself (I know the drill)
Hustle, hustle, feel my muscle
Shazam! Bam! I will not slam!
Leave me! Go! Find another victim
If you can
If you dare
Choose your poison as you huff and puff
Passion passes me by like the parades you fake
And the faggots you smoke
All your manic whims and wishes are wasted on me
For johns will be johns--sores, warts and all
The transaction’s complete
In the wreckage of your presence
I defer to the future
Be careful what you wish for because . . .

I will return one stormy night
When I can foot your bill and
Pay your rent late fees and all
And extend your lease without rent control
Say good bye to your pad up on high
In your hipster tower that makes Trump men sigh
I will marry you at last
And bring you down
And slow you down
Surprise! Astonish! Astound!
No limo for you but a taxi for two
I will be the pimp you truly needed
But did not think was man enough
No longer a sugar daddy or trophy wife
We will partner, sweetheart, dear
You will dress in white and so will I
Equally bound with veil and tie
And you will have our sober child
Struck whole and complete the nor’easter past  
Blunting steeples and uprooting trees
Littering parks like a ce-me-ter-y
Hovel, hovel, no more shovel!
We will make love to vanilla flames
And lavender lotion shall soothe and calm
I’ll play pi-a-nah and you will sing
While daffodils dance to our plunk and ping
Together we’ll cook and read the Times
And nurse the child as St. John’s chimes
Give the nanny the day off—for life!
Let the Boston terriers back in
And take off the leather leash for good
No tag or muzzle for them, you or me
No more need for harm or even charm
We shall dwell in a sunny two-bedroom
Pre-war, fifth floor, modest decor
With coffee, mint and Kelly green
And butterfly kisses on places we keen
Geraniums bobbing in the window box
Running around in just summer socks
Iced tea and lemonade freshly made
Plenty of ice cream in the freezer to raid
On the Upper West Side
Between 72nd and 86th Street and Riverside and W.E.A.
Pushing a stroller we will be seen
Shopping Fairway forever
Amen and again, amen and amen . . . 

*Origninally titled "New York is My Mistress (Ode to Meth)". This was written in the depths of the Recession after a break up in New York (and a hefty binge) November 2009.

I Like the Villians!

My death scene as Edmund in King Lear, Connecticut Repertory Theatre.

"For the pure sensuous embodiment of evil, Steven Fales alone is worth the price of admission."
--Norwich Bulletin.

A villain is a character who just hasn't found recovery yet!

When I was in college and graduate school I was often cast as the charismatic villain in the play or musical. How could this be? Wasn't I a good wholesome Mormon boy? Yes, I was. But I found I could tap into the villain mentality quite easily even though I had never, ever done anything "bad" or "wrong" in my life. Maybe it was a way to express family secrets. Maybe it was a foreshadowing of things to come.

When I began using and drinking and whoring at 30/31 I wanted to play the good guy. And now after a fair amount of recovery I want to play the villain again! I've played Edmund the bastard in King Lear and I love the cads having played "Joe" in The Most Happy Fella, "Gerry" in Dancing at Lughnasa, "Kodaly" in She Loves Me and even white trash "Tom Joad" in The Grapes of Wrath. I've played many others (onstage and off!). Give me the lost guy with the fading smile--the featured role needed to let the "good guy" shine and who will ultimately outshine himself. I understand my shadow today--it's yearning for the light.

So as I plan to move back to NYC I wonder if I am meant to play the nice dads in the commercials I've been doing or to go back to the villains with a new understanding.

I'm drawn to the story of being burned by the world and reclaiming and redeeming the villains! It's pretty evident if you get to see my new solo play Prodigal Dad in The Mormon Boy Trilogy. The prodigal is destined to make it back home.

Here's the link to my IndieGoGo Campaign. Help me bring more villains into the world!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Day 36 Making Mormon Music

In my family growing up "Mormon" meant growing up "Music!" Mom played the piano and I would sing . . . and later take piano lessons. She would play "Rustles of Spring" or "Maleguena" for hours as I'd dance. But most of all she'd play show tunes to "Fiddler" and "Camelot" and hymn after hymn.

The Mormon Boy Trilogy is not a musical, but all three solo shows have just enough singing to help tell the story: Confessions of a Mormon Boy, Missionary Position, and Prodigal Dad.

I hope you will look at my IndieGoGo Campaign and help me bring my beloved family's music to life Off-Broadway 2014.

Donate just $10 and get the new album for free! "Confessions of a Mormon Boy (Live from London)!"

Thank you for the music!

My arm around my little brother (there are four more siblings!). That's mom's piano she bought with babysitting money. That is the music to the Mormon musical "Saturday's Warrior" and the Mormon Children's Songbook. On the wall is one of many of mom's "tufting" creations. And on the piano is a marble statue of two naked Greek wrestlers and another Greek vase from mom's exotic travels! Ahem.

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Day 37 - Drug of Choice

Day 37 of Mormon Boy IndieGoGo Campaign!

What's your favorite drug of choice? Mine was always my bottle filled with milk. As you can see I was always writing and performing in my TRUTH! Notice the scriptures open, too! Ever the "oxy-Mormon", I'm bringing my intense The Mormon Boy Trilogy Off Broadway 2014--with your help. Please check out the IndieGoGo Site!

This photo was taken when my parents were going to BYU!
I'm the oldest so I had all the time in the world to write and play
because none of my other siblings had arrived. Boy they kept me busy!

Mormon Boy Funds - IndieGoGo

Hi, friends!

I'm raising funds for "The Mormon Boy Trilogy" Off Broadway 2014. For just a $10 donation you get my new album (now on iTunes and Amazon) for FREE! It's called "Confessions of a Mormon Boy (Live from London)." It's getting all five-star reviews right now! Blessed. Grateful.

Link to IndieGoGo:

Watch my pitch:

Watch my promo:

I'm grateful for all your support and another shot at taking my creativity (and sobriety) to the next level. One day (and smile) at a time!
Much love,

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Disposable Dad

We live in a world where fathers are an endangered species and dads are disposable. This article in a recent Salt Lake City Weekly brilliantly pens what's going on all across the country. "Non-custodial" means "powerless." In my time in the trenches of Utah fatherdom I can definitely relate to this dad.


Thank you for taking the time to read this press release.

We seek better lives for children through family court reform that establishes equal rights and responsibilities for fathers and mothers.
National Parents Organization improves the lives of children and strengthens society by protecting the child's right to the love and care of both parents after separation or divorce. We seek better lives for children through family court reform that establishes equal rights and responsibilities for fathers and mothers.