What do you mean you don't know about the Mormon Pre-Existence?! In this blog entry I've posted the beginning of my solo comedy My Mormon Valentine: The Original Utah Version of Confessions of a Mormon Boy which includes Heavenly Mother and Jimmy Flinders in the Pre-Existence and St. Peter in the Celestial Kingdom. This is the 15-year anniversary revival of the "new and improved" Sunstone version of this show I premiered at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center in Salt Lake City over Thanksgiving Weekend 2001 following a reading at the Sunstone Symposium 2001 and before that a 5-minute stand-up routine at Caroline's on Broadway. The entire Salt Lake run sold out and we had to add an extra performance. I've dusted it off and it will be performed at the Leonardo Museum on February 11-March 5, 2016. There's a special benefit for the Utah Pride Center on Sat., Feb. 20 with a catered reception. For tickets go to http://mormonboylive.brownpapertickets.com.
This draft of My Mormon Valentine is subject to change without warning. And don't be the grammar police or you'll miss the point! (I was in a hurry.) The early "Sunstone" version of Confessions of a Mormon Boy was printed in its entirety with photos in Sunstone Magazine, Dec. 2003: https://www.sunstonemagazine.com/pdf/130-40-56.pdf
(A star drop somewhere in Mormon Eternity. A hooded figure walks onto the stage holding a flashlight. In the dark we hear "Ding Dong" and then . . . )
But the very next day you will meet your first and only husband (as of this writing). He will be extraordinary, wonderful, awesome, amazing, sweet and practically-perfect-in-every-way with impeccable handwriting who isn’t nearly as narcissistic as everyone thinks he just because he will write shows about you to the end of the universe when he purchases signed depiction releases from you, your mother and the kids. (I’m not narcissistic. I’m just drawn that way.) He will be a very cute boy two whole years younger who likes ABBA songs and will remind you a whole lot of your father. Especially the part about being gay. (I thought, Cool! What a cool thing to marry someone happy!) Together you will have two incredible children and endure poverty and grad school in the backwoods of Connecticut (where the wards are nothing like the wards in Utah). Then after being married six years you will both stop smiling because . . . well . . . because . . ."
Just then, the arch-angel Gabriel handed me a golden envelope. My orders! (What, you
couldn’t get Michael?) I was so excited I ripped it open:
(Yeehaw! Finally they were recognizing my acting ability.)
(This concludes the Pre-Existence portion of the play as it then settles into the nuts and bolts of the story: reparative therapy, excommunication, divorce, losing custody of the kids and descent into a ferocious gay adolescence before finding himself. Will Steven finally make it into the Celestial Kingdom? Who will he find there? In the name of all that's absurd in Brecht's Epic Theatre you can probably guess the answer. It's HOW we get there that will be worth your ticket price. http://mormonboylive.brownpapertickets.com.)